I don’t know why I thought creating a Substack—yet another website to manage—was a good idea. Yet, here I am. And I am hopeful that it is a good idea. Given that one of my areas of expertise is sexuality and gender, I thought it would be helpful to create a single place on the web to collect all my extra writings, videos, and podcasts on this topic. My hope is that it will provide a meaningful public resource and hub for constructive conversation on one of the most important discussions in the Church today. So for the past week, I have been collecting previous writings/media to post here, and I have begun adding new content as well (some posts are free and some are a paid subscription).
I first started writing about sexuality back in 2007 on a blog called Pursue God. Back then, I was a traditionalist in my views on same-sex relationships and committed to life-long celibacy. The blog world back then was like a small town. It was easy to meet others who were talking about sexuality and gender—LGBTQ people processing faith and sexuality, as well as scholars and practitioners working in the field. That kind of community is more difficult to find now with the proliferation of sites. But, perhaps this Substack can begin to create such a community.
I shut down my Pursue God blog in 2010 after I had completed my M.A. in exegetical theology at Western Seminary and a Th.M. in biblical studies at Duke Divinity School. I was beginning to revisit my views on sexuality and believed it would be best to process that outside the limelight. I didn’t want to confuse anyone else when I didn’t even know what I believed anymore. In 2013, I pulled together a small group of pastors, friends, and practitioners to join me in my discernment process. For two months we read through James Brownson’s book Bible, Gender, Sexuality. We had a private FB group for dialogue and Zoom calls. Participants were both affirming and non-affirming. By the end of that process, I was still a traditionalist, but came to an accommodation view as most faithful to God’s mercy. That is, even if marriage for gay couples was not the ideal, life-long celibacy seemed to cause serious spiritual and psychological damage in some people’s lives. But being the perfectionist, I did not apply the accommodation to myself.
It was only through continued study of Scripture, as I completed my Th.M. and went on for doctoral work, that I eventually came to an affirming position in 2016. In 2017, I began to blog again. And by fall of 2018, I had published my first book, Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same-Sex Relationships. It was during the book launch that I asked an acquaintance, Sally Gary, director of a ministry called CenterPeace, if she would be on my launch team. She said yes. One thing led to another and a friendship and ministry partnership developed that culminated in dating for a year and a half. We married in December 2020 in a park after COVID shut down everything.
While the ministry work I do goes beyond the topic of sexuality and gender, it remains a significant part of what I do. Likewise, Sally has done this work for years too, having founded CenterPeace in 2006, a ministry that fosters Christian spiritual community for LGBTQ people and works with parents and church leaders to navigate faith and sexuality in a Christ-like way. Not surprisingly, we often collaborate in serving others. In fact, love of God and ministry are two of the most important things that drew us to each other.
Some of the things I am doing these days related to sexuality and gender:
Teaching. Every semester for the past few years, I have been teaching a 10-week course “Bible, Church, and Same-Sex Relationships.” This semester, I added another 10-week course “Understanding LGBTQ Ministry.” I hope to convert these into on-demand video in 2025 to create greater accessibility (I will get the word out when those are ready). And, I already have a video course on “Scripture and Sexual Ethics” (focused on sex and the Christian life broadly; not specific to same-sex relationships).
Speaking. In addition to teaching classes, I regularly speak on sexuality and gender (as well as other topics like the origins of the Bible). Venues I have presented at concerning sexuality, in particular, include Duke Divinity School, Wheaton College, University of Indianapolis, Western Seminary, CenterPeace, The Reformation Project, American Academy of Religion, Q Christian Fellowship, Jesus Älskar HBTQ (an evangelical conference in Sweden), various churches, and other similar venues.
Bakos Project. Sally and I founded this initiative together to mentor Christian LGBTQ leaders in their 20s and 30s. We launched our first cohort in fall 2023. And, wow, these are incredible young leaders! They inspire us, and we want to do everything we can to walk alongside them to nurture their faith and the spiritual gifts God has given them.
Friends of Bakos. This is an aspect of the Bakos Project that pulls together pastors and Christian leaders who are both theologically orthodox and affirming who want to connect with each other, while also supporting the goals of the Bakos Project. Too often ministry leaders who come from traditionalist backgrounds are isolated when they decide to fully affirm LGBTQ people. Friends of Bakos provides a helpful community of colleagues.
Educational Literature. I’m a writer at heart. Writing is a major way I contribute to the Church’s conversation on sexuality and gender. In addition to this Substack and my first book, Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same-Sex Relationships, I have other publications, specialized book reviews, and an upcoming book on sex and the Christian life (Eerdmans, expected 2026). I am also co-editing an anthology with a colleague that brings together both affirming and non-affirming contributors as a resource for the church.
CenterPeace LGBTQ Community. I co-administrate (with Sally) a private FB group for LGBTQ folk who want to grow in their Christian faith. In addition to community conversation on FB itself, we offer a monthly live Zoom group called Nurturing Faith.
Retreats. Sally and I also collaborate on the Faithful Love Retreat, which is a Christian couples retreat for LGBTQ couples (the next one is in March 2024). With less social support for their relationships, this retreat provides fellowship and encouragement. I also often help Sally with CenterPeace’s Tapestry Retreat, which is a spiritual formation retreat for LGBTQ folk.
I hope some of these will be helpful resources for y’all who may be reading this Substack. Importantly, the work I do is often just as frequently with traditionalists as with reformists (those who are affirming). I have people from a variety of theological perspectives that attend my classes, and my goal is to equip people to think through and discern the issues for themselves. The LGBTQ Discipleship Community and retreats also include participants in different places theologically. We just want people come and be without strings attached. The Bakos Project (and Friends of Bakos) is the only one limited to affirming folk.
My hope is that more people will begin to fully include LGBTQ people into the life and service of the Church, but I also believe in dialogue more than debate. My heart is to follow after Christ the best I know how. And I hope we can encourage each other in that upward call. God’s peace be with you.
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I am continually grateful for the good work you do. May God continue he to open doors for your work!!