What's In a Blessing? My Thoughts on Pope Francis and "Irregular" Relationships

Did the Pope Affirm Same-Sex Relationships?

When I first heard the news that Pope Francis was now blessing same-sex couples, I was skeptical. I’m accustomed to the media embellishing such matters. But, the journalistic enthusiasm, no doubt, reflects many people’s hopes—that a global leader of the Church might recognize the life-long commitments and families of gay couples. I wish I could say that’s what happened. But it’s not. Nevertheless, I’m encouraged by the gospel Francis is promoting by authorizing blessings for anyone who comes to a priest seeking a “simple” blessing.

So what exactly did Pope Francis do? He signed a declaration, “Fiducia Supplicans: On the Pastoral Meaning of Blessings.” Fiducia supplicans is Latin for “supplicating trust,” which is a phrase from the first line of the document: “The supplicating trust of the faithful People of God receives the gift of blessing that flows from the Heart of Christ through his Church.” The document seeks to clarify a theology of blessing, particularly when it comes to couples in “irregular situations” (e.g. cohabitating, divorced and remarried) or in same-sex unions.

Pope Francis did not write the document himself. Rather, such documents are often the result of a committee that researches and writes on such matters. But Francis provided input during the process and signed off on it. In other words, the document is a communal product (of the Catholic Church) and not merely the sentiments of one person.

What Does the Declaration Say about Gay People and Their Relationships?

The preface to Fiducia supplicans states upfront, “This Declaration remains firm on the traditional doctrine of the Church about marriage [one man, one woman], not allowing any type of liturgical rite or blessing similar to a liturgical rite that can create confusion.” The document emphasizes this traditionalist view and carefully distinguishes between sacramental blessings (as with marriage) versus “simple” blessings that do not occur in any liturgical setting. Simple blessings are spontaneous pastoral gestures, such as when someone on a pilgrimage seeks a blessing or stops a priest on the street for encouragement.

Two years ago a question was posed to the Vatican. Specifically, “Does the Church have the power to give the blessing to unions of persons of the same sex?” The answer: “Negative.” The response states, “Blessings belong to the category of the sacramentals,” therefore blessings conferred on a relationship must be rightly ordered as the Catholic Church understands rightly ordered. But this does “not preclude the blessings given to individual persons with homosexual inclinations.” While sin is not to be bless, sinful man may be blessed: “[God] blesses sinful man, so that he may recognize that he is part of his plan of love and allow himself to be changed by him. He in fact ‘takes us as we are, but never leaves us as we are.’”

Only three months ago, while work on Fiducia supplicans was underway, two cardinals submitted questions to the Pope asking a similar question, can same-sex relationships ever be considered a “possible good,” when they have been previously understood to be “objectively sinful.” Francis responded, “The Church has a very clear understanding of marriage: it is an exclusive, stable, and indissoluble union between a man and a woman, naturally open to the generation of children. Only this type of union does the Church call a ‘marriage.’ Other forms of union realize it only in ‘a partial and analogous way’ (Amoris Laetitia, 292), which is why they cannot be called ‘marriage,’ strictly speaking.”

The Pope then added that every person (e.g. LGBTQ people) is to be treated with “kindness, patience, understanding, tenderness, and encouragement” and that such individuals can seek and receive a blessing because “when one asks for a blessing, one is expressing a petition for God’s assistance, a plea to live better, and confidence in a Father who can help us live better.”

Fiducia supplicans was publicized in December 2023 to clarify the notion of pastoral blessing for couples in “irregular situations” and gay couples. Fiducia supplicans does not overturn anything. Rather it offers greater theological clarity on what type of blessing is appropriate when and for who. While previous statements might give the impression that blessings are only for sacramental settings (e.g. “Blessings belong to the category of the sacramentals”), Francis clarifies when a blessing is “pastoral” versus sacramental.

What Is the Meaning of a Pastoral Blessing?

Fiducia supplicans does not bless same-sex relationships, but it does affirm blessing for LGBTQ people who happen to be in a relationship. The declaration is an “innovative contribution to the pastoral meaning of blessings, permitting a broadening and enrichment of the classical understanding of blessings” (emphasis in the original). Significantly, it has been more than 20 years since the Vatican made this type of doctrinal “declaration.” Thus, it would be a mistake to underestimate the significance of Fiducia supplicans.

As the first line of the declaration states, blessings are from the “Heart of Christ, through his church.” In fact, Jesus himself is a blessing “with whom the Father blessed us ‘while we were still sinners’ (Rom. 5:8).” Blessings “lead us to grasp God’s presence in all the events of life and remind us that, even in the use of created things, human beings are invited to seek God, to love him, and to serve him faithfully.” Blessings are offered as praise to God, requests for help, and to reduce evil in the world.

Fiducia supplicans addresses the over-narrowing of blessing, where blessings are only offered when the right moral conditions are met. While only rightly ordered relationships are to be blessed, that is not the only purpose of blessings. “Simple” blessings are offered regularly as a pastoral gesture. “Indeed, there is the danger that a pastoral gesture that is so beloved and widespread will be subjected to too many moral prerequisites, which, under the claim of control, could overshadow the unconditional power of God’s love that forms the basis for the gesture of blessing.”

According to the Catholic Church, some blessings are sacramental, as with marriage, while other “simple” blessings are essential for conveying God’s merciful love of all people, even in their sin. In other words, different types of blessings exist and are important for the Church. Fiducia supplicans notes a blessing that “‘descends’ [from God to us], the human thanksgiving that ‘ascends’ [to God], and the blessing imparted by man that ‘extends’ toward others.” God has imparted to the Church the power of blessing, so that we might bless each other. When we bless another, “it is a positive message of comfort, care, and encouragement,” expressing God’s love to the person receiving the blessing.

Fiducia supplicans treats a person’s request for a blessing as a desire to grow closer to God and to move toward the things of God. To deny a blessing would thwart this sincere desire and impede a person’s spiritual progress. In this way, Fiducia supplicans serves the purposes of evangelism to the lost seeker and discipleship to the believer in need of greater sanctification. This is a meaningful, pastoral use of blessings. The declaration quotes Francis’s statement in Catechesis on Prayer: The Blessing (Dec 2, 2020):

”So we are more important to God than all the sins we can commit because he is father, he is mother, he is pure love, he has blessed us forever. And he will never stop blessing us. It is a powerful experience to read these biblical texts of blessing in a prison or in a rehabilitation group. To make those people feel that they are still blessed, notwithstanding their serious mistakes, that their heavenly Father continues to will their good and to hope that they will ultimately open themselves to the good. Even if their closest relatives have abandoned them, because they now judge them to be irredeemable, God always sees them as his children.”

This a beautiful and needful message. But when applied to gay people, as Fiducia supplicans does, it reiterates that gay couples are living in sin. Thus, when a gay person seeks a blessing, such a request is to be interpreted as a desire “to live better, and to respond to the Lord’s will” as understood by the Catholic Church. In other words, a priest should give the blessing in hopes that it might lead the gay person to forsake their covenantal relationship and, instead, commit to life-long celibacy or heterosexual marriage. In this way, the declaration not only doesn’t recognize the marriages of gay couples, but also considers such gay people to be either unbelievers or immature believers. This would also be true of others in “irregular situations,” such as someone who is cohabitating, lives in a “common law” marriage, or is divorced and remarried (if the marriage was not annulled by the Catholic Church).

That said, the declaration is explicit that pastoral blessings can be offered not merely to a gay person, but to a couple who is currently in a relationship that the Church views as sin. A blessing does not have to be withheld even as the person is actively going against church teaching (as long as it does not give any impression of approving the relationship itself). That a blessing can be given even to people actively perceived to be sinning might seem radical to some. But that only tells us how far we have moved away from the gospel. For even Jesus instructs us to bless our enemies and those actively opposing God. A correct understanding of the gospel lead us to bless everyone.

While Fiducia supplicans falls short of blessing the marriages of gay couples, the document offers a helpful pastoral approach that all of us can learn from. In a world full of polarizations, self-righteous social media, and the impulse to withhold our blessings from those who are different from ourselves, this declaration urges us all to open our hearts wider to the mercy that God readily gives, and to trust that when we offer a simple blessing God is at work in unknown, merciful ways. Legalism causes us to close off to others, monitoring other people’s moral performance. Fiducia supplicans says love all, bless all, and leave the rest to God. At least when it comes to “simple” blessings.

And, isn’t the “simple” blessing most like Christ? Our Savior was out in the streets, and in the hills, and by the lake. Who is to say that in such simple blessings, God won’t work in unexpected ways as we seek the divine will together? Maybe even in ways that surprise the Pope and the Church’s priests. Thus let us confer blessing on such leaders in hopes they, too, will have “God’s light and strength to be able to fulfill his will completely.”