Questions about Love and Sex

What a group of young adults are asking. What about you?

Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

The other day I had the privilege of sitting among several Christian young adults in their 20s and 30s, who also happen to be LGBTQ. They were asked to write down questions about anything on their hearts and drop them in a box. The questions could be anonymous and cover any topic they wanted. We planned to spend the evening talking about whatever came up.

I didn’t know what to expect. Would they want to talk about politics, their jobs, parents, or the difficulty of being a sexual or gender minority? As it turns out, without any consultation with each other, almost every one of them asked a question about finding and navigating love life.

I remember the desire for love occupying my thoughts when I was their age as well. But along with the usual desires, I—and the young people in this group—experienced additional challenges being an LGBTQ Christian. Many of us didn’t have the opportunity to learn dating and relationship skills at the same pace as heterosexual peers. We were too busy sorting out why our attractions didn’t match what most of our friends were experiencing after puberty.

Yet despite being different, our questions are largely the same as heterosexual folk. The following questions are what my young LGBTQ Christian friends are asking these days. What about you? What kinds of questions do you have about love, sex, gender, and relationships?

• “How has purity culture impacted you? Where do you land now?”

• “What does it mean for marriage to be sacred, especially for LGBTQ people?”

• “Can we talk about pros / cons / thoughts re: sex before marriage?”

• “How do you know you’re in love?”

• “What is the favorite thing that Karen [me] and Sally [my wife] like to do together?”

• “Can you share stories of past relationships and the process of choosing and committing to your partner?

• “What resources do people know about for trans and gender-diverse inclusive theological discussion? What are the equivalent books for the gender dialogues to the ‘God and the Gay Christian’ type thing?”

• “What are things to think through when dating someone who isn’t out [as LGBTQ] in all contexts (but is in some/most)?”

The conversation that flowed from these questions that night was truly profound and thoughtful. If only I could have recorded it! We need spaces where we can talk about these things in an honest, open environment. Perhaps in upcoming posts, I will share my own thoughts on these questions.

But for now, I want to hear from you—what questions about love and sex do you have? Let’s begin exploring them here on this Bible, Sex, and Gender Substack. Put your questions in the comments below!